thefinaljedi | Appointments

...Me. It. It's me.

[Luke just blinks]

Are you sure? What's happening in these visions, Adele?

[... His immediate thought is that this must be a cruel joke by the Malnosso, but she hasn't been taken by them recently. Perhaps more of Apep's work? Regardless...

... He can comfort her later. For now, he simply listens.]

They're the same as they were when it was a faceless figure doing...

[She shakes her head, unable to be anything other than vague.]

Violence. Except it's me. I'm watching myself kill you, Luke. You, Ben, Sabriel- everyone. I'm not...wrathful, or gleeful. I appear to be entirely apathetic to what I'm doing.

[He steps closer to her, resting a hand on her shoulder.]

"Adele, this is likely nothing more than the aftereffect of Apep's assault on your mind. We will find a solution, I promise."

Yes, Ben is correct.

[Luke nods emphatically]

I can still feel some lingering Dark Side energies in the area. Nothing serious, but enough maybe to cause these troubles

It has been infuriating. These visions, when it was someone else, when I could do nothing and it's left me angry. I have attempted the meditative exercises that you've both taught me...it doesn't diminish.

[She scrubs her face with a hand and leans back against Ben's support.]

Every vision only makes it worse. The last time I've felt so furious I...You know how it ended Luke. I lashed out and killed men- [She sags, ashamed of what happened then, and what happened last week.]

and I've already done the same here. Last week when the Kin'Coran's raided the club and Archie was stabbed- I shot a girl. Killed her.

[Silently, Luke listens to Adele's story. He doesn't say a word, and barely even blinks. Its not an easy thing to take in. Sure, he's killed before, but Adele was a doctor and a gentle woman, not a warrior or a soldier. He knew some of the events that had lead up to her time here, but this...was something drastically out of character.

But to kill a Kin'Coran in cold blood? That was exactly the sort of thing he'd hoped to avoid. War and violence against the other enclosures was bad.

Luke squeezed the bridge of his nose and looked up at her]

Why did you kill her? Was it the result of these visions, or was it brought on by the actions of the Kin'Coran?

[At the moment, it had seemed the only thing to do. The girl had been reaching for Archie's pistol- men with knives were waiting in the door. Fight or die. She'd hesitated the last time she was in that situation and would die for it. Were it only her life at stake in the club, she might not have acted so quickly- but Archie was down. Bleeding. It'd looked worse than it was.

Adele hadn't taken the time to think. She'd acted. And regrets it still.]

Archie had been stabbed. He was down, trying to find his feet. The girl was reaching for his gun. I'd warned them twice before firing.

"It... was less than ideal, but I do not see how you could have spared her without putting yourself at risk."

[He meets her eyes]

"You did attempt to warn her, and you had no time for hesitation. Were you a Jedi, it would suggest that you required further training. Regardless, you did not act from malice or anger."

Right. There isn't anything for you to regret. You acted correctly for the situation.

[That, at least, means that she wasn't under the influence of the visions and thinking clearly]

Its sometimes necessary. In essence, we were being assaulted by the Kin'Corans as much as we were by the Malnosso. It couldn't be helped.

The anger made it easy to choose to pull the trigger. I don't...regret it as much as I ought to either. And I do not know what to think of it. Not any more than I am able to think of this shift in the visions.

"I suspect the visions are simply putting you on edge. You are questioning yourself where you need not, looking for anything that might indicate a shift toward this violent behavior from you."

[He pauses, as if considering.]

"If it is any comfort, I do not sense anything unusual within your psyche, save for your concern and anxiety regarding the visions themselves. Luke would likely be a more able judge than I, however."

Yes, Obi-Wan is probably right. You did what was necessary, and nothing more. The visions are clearly meant to undermine your will.

[Luke closes his eyes, stretching out with the Force]

Its faint, but there is a lingering darkness there. Fading, and suppressed. But still present.

[As usual- she feels nothing when Ben and Luke stretch out their senses. Other than how inherently disconcerting she found the visions to be, there wasn't much to connect that anxiety to her actions during the riot. To know this for certain was a weight off her mind.]

I'll have to spend more time with Saori in the mountains.

"I suspect she would know if it was necessary better than we, but I suspect it will be more important for you to cope with, or perhaps even rid yourself of, the trauma related to the visions."

Yes, I agree. It would be wise to continue to cope however you can.

[Luke's eyes lift]

How have you been sleeping?

Better than I had been last week. Even with Cayla and Saori in the house it was so very...quiet.

[She shakes her head faintly at her own discomfort and looks back over to Luke. The orb Helios had offered gave her some peace when she tried to sleep, as did the meditative exercises Luke taught her.]

The first day back here I slept through the night.

Good. At least that's a start. If you feel like it, I can offer putting you into the dreamless state while you sleep.

[Luke shakes his head]

If it helped, that might be wise.

It's not something I wish to rely on every time I'm unable to rest on my own. I need to learn how to cope with what I'm seeing. Being here has helped a great deal.

[She reaches up to rest her hand on Ben's, something that was idle and habitual at this point.]

[Obi-Wan takes the hand when it meets his.]

"Perhaps it might be helpful if we got into the habit of undergoing a meditative ritual before you went to sleep in the evenings."

That too could help. Also, there are a number of teas that may help clear your mind in the evening before you sleep.

[Luke's head bobs in acknowledgement]

Also, sleeping with a low, steady sound like a fan may help.

[Lacing her fingers with Ben's was equally habitual, it was an anchor, one she sorely needed once the room went cold and her shoulders went tight. Adele squeezes her eyes shut and breathes through this one. First one today, and after almost two without. A record.

Of course that just made this one all the worse.

It lasts longer, than the last she'd had. Darker. Bloodier. She attempts to not be bothered by it. Truly. Having Luke and Ben in the room makes that something she can manage. Once it passes as they all do she blinks herself back to the present.]

Meditation, tea, and a fan would help a great deal. Thank you Luke.

[When the vision hits, Obi-Wan moves his arms around her almost automatically, simply holding her until the pain fades. The chaos of her emotions is overwhelming even to be this close to, so the best he can do is just wait out the surge of pain until it ends.

When it does, he pulls away, though he doesn't move out of arm's reach.]

"... If the visions get any worse, you will let us know?"

[Luke senses it immediately too, rising quickly and on high alert. He'd gotten a vague sensation of what occurred there, and it was not pleasant at all. Violence and blood.]

Yes, please. That isn't something you should have to live with, or deal with alone.

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